Neil's News

Silly Quotes

1 July 2003

Here are some random quotes which have come my way recently.

Confrontational: [New: 4/7/03]

"Elgin firm Data Converters, which specialises in transferring data from a paper to digital format, and an Inverness rival, Digital Routes, have merged."

Ooh, rivals were we? The local paper always makes the news more exciting.

The negative consequences of mass deaths:

"I dread to think if there was a sudden increase in the death rate within the city and the surrounding area -- we would be in dire straits."

Ian MacIntosh lamenting the breakdown of the city's crematorium.

Taxing calculation:

"£1430 broken into ten installments is..."
[rumages her desk]
[fetches calculator from next room]
[tap - tap - tap - tap - tap]
" £143 per payment."

Clerk at the Inverness tax office calculating my bill.

New job:

Ok, who's the clown who changed my business title? This letter from Nominet arrived for me last week. I used to be a programmer, but I guess I've been promoted.
[Director of Guinea-pig Analysis]

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