Neil's News

Bad Résumés

10 July 2002

At work we are sifting through a continuous stream of résumés from programmers. Some of them are good, some are bad, and the rest are worse. Here are our top ten tips on what not to do:

1. Do not comment on your previous boss' questionable parentage.
2. Do not list jobs you've held in previous lives.
3. Do not include your [jail] cell number in your address.
4. Do not provide the URL of your homepage on geocities.
5. Do not dot the 'i's with hearts.
6. D0 n07 u53 inph0rm41 14ngu4g3.
7. Do not write using crayons.
8. Do not list your astrological sign or planet of origin.
9. Do not list alternate personalities as character references.
10. Do not ever reveal that you are an MCSE.

On a related note, here is a classic document from when I worked at Ingenia. "So huh?"

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