Neil's News

Busted

28 December 2011

While walking to work I saw a young man running out of a CVS drug store. Moments later the manager came running out. I informed the manager that the individual he was chasing had just turned the corner, but chasing down thieves apparently wasn't in his job description, so he shrugged and went back in the store.

Challenge accepted. I ran around the corner and down the block looking for the suspect, but he had been really moving and was out of sight. As I was giving up, he passed me walking back along the same street. The idiot assumed that since he had outrun his pursuer, the coast was clear and he could double-back. He continued walking to a bus stop and talked a Muni driver into letting him ride for free. I followed him on the same bus, while dialing 911.

Ten minutes later he got off and jay-walked across Van Ness Avenue. By the time the light turned green and I could follow, he'd disappeared. But he didn't go far. He only went one block, where he stood patiently at a corner. I dialed 911 again and five minutes later the local constabulary arrived.

The police recovered six bottles of Axe body wash from his backpack. Total retail value of around $36. It's a different world out there.

Having lost the suspect twice, I'm obviously a terrible stalker. I need to work on that. The only reason he got caught is because he didn't expect a passer-by to get involved.

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